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WrestleMania 29 Review

4/8/2013

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There was a sign in the crowd at WrestleMania 29 that read “If Cena Wins, We Complain Online”, a takeoff on the famous “If Cena Wins, We Riot” sign from the ECW One Night Stand pay-per-view in 2006.

With just one six-word sign, the “Cena Sucks” crowd was forever neutered, on a night where they again exposed just how empty their threats are and what a put-on their anti-Cena rhetoric is.

The main event at MetLife Stadium Sunday night saw John Cena pin The Rock, 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring, to a rousing, nearly-unanimous ovation from the crowd. It was only after the crowd had a moment to process things, that they remembered that the “cool” thing to do is boo the guy who has granted more Make-A-Wish Foundation requests than anyone ever. That brings me to my first point.

If you hate John Cena, stop financially supporting WWE.


I implore these fans, if you really hate John Cena so much, stop supporting the product. Stop buying t-shirts, DVD’s, foam fingers and ice cream bars, and especially stop buying WrestleMania tickets. If you really hate the guy so much, vote with your wallet and Vince McMahon will be done with John Cena quicker than you can imagine.

The crowd turning on Cena is not a new phenomenon, but I reached my boiling point with the “We Hate Cena” guys, and with snarky, “smart” wrestling fans in general, this weekend.

It was some of these same people, the hardest of the hardcore wrestling fans, that packed Madison Square Garden on Saturday for the WWE Hall of Fame ceremony. To WWE, the Hall of Fame is little more than a way to pad their bottom line and sell some DVD’s.

But to the performers being honored, and their presenters, the ceremony is important. Ric Flair in particular, is incredibly proud of his Hall of Fame status.

Saturday’s ceremony saw Arnold Schwarzenegger induct Bruno Sammartino, as the two were legitimately friends in the 1960’s and 1970’s, and also saw Hollywood B-lister Maria Menounos induct her friend Bob Backlund. Yes, Maria Menounos and Bob Backlund are legitimately friends. .

The assembled crowd had no patience for Maria, though, despite her clear enthusiasm, despite the fact that she legitimately is a wrestling fan, and despite that she actually wrestled a match at WrestleMania last year with broken ribs suffered during the filming of Dancing with the Stars.

No, the crowd at the Garden decided to boo Maria, a pretty girl who likes wrestling. That brings me to my second point.

You do not boo pretty girls who like wrestling; you cherish pretty girls who like wrestling and treat them like real-life princesses when they show up at your nerdfest Hall of Fame, you idiots.


I’ve so had it with these clowns. In the ‘90’s it was “push the cruiserweights”. Now it’s “Cena sucks” and “the PG-era is killing wrestling”. Mark my words. In 20 years, people will look back on this era as the one that kept pro wrestling alive.

So, WrestleMania was fine. You couldn’t call it a bad show, because both the main event and Undertaker vs. CM Punk were excellent matches. As for the rest, it’s very difficult to review or rate anything.

Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar was the only other match that got a significant amount of time, but it didn’t come across well on television, and I’ve heard mixed reviews from people who were there live. The acoustics are always strange for stadium shows, as I experienced when I attended WrestleMania in 2010. Cheers and reactions can be isolated to different sections, and two separate pockets of the crowd can have totally different reactions.

A showtime temperature of 55 degrees and the large number of obstructed-view seats could also have contributed to the perceived lack of reaction to Lesnar vs. Triple H, but my gut tells me that the creative for this feud never really clicked with the audience. They were also put in the unenviable position of following Punk and Undertaker.

You could build a case that Undertaker has had the best match at WrestleMania for seven consecutive years. Every year, I think that because of his deteriorating physical condition and advanced age, that we’ve seen his last great match. Every year, The Deadman goes out there and proves me wrong.

Rock and Cena had as good a match as the two of them can. Cena is a good worker. Rock has never been a technically great in-ring performer, but he knows how to work a style that accentuates what he does well. He did appear to gas early, as it seems that carrying as much mass as he does comes at the expense of great cardio. But when it came time to get into the nearfalls at the end, he was moving just fine.

They took a burnt-out crowd that had been sitting for more than four and a half hours, and had them eating out of their hands by the time they executed their finish.

Full WrestleMania 29 Results:

Pre-Show:

The Miz d. Wade Barrett to win the WWE Intercontinental Championship

Main Card:

The Shield d. Big Show, Sheamus, Randy Orton

Mark Henry d. Ryback

Team Hell No d. Dolph Ziggler & Big E Langston to retain the WWE Tag Team Championship

Fandango d. Chris Jericho

Alberto Del Rio d. Jack Swagger to retain the World Heavyweight Championship

The Undertaker d. CM Punk

Triple H d. Brock Lesnar

John Cena d. The Rock to win the WWE Championship
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